God answers prayers...

India. I am back from my trip. and all I can simply say now is God answers prayers.
Quoting from my prayer journal "God... break me... make me so uncomfortable that all i can do is lean on you"... (kicking myself in the butt)... I would love to share every detail of the trip but i have something more i want to share... i just (literally) got done with my devotions and yes, God wowed me YET again.

I have been wondering since the end of my trip... why did God send me? Besides losing all sense of dignity, comfort, or control of circumstances... besides making China look more like heaven than i ever thought possible... besides showing me a whole different people group that He passionately loves... why did He send me???? it has been really bugging me.

Well, I will just insert what my devotions were today... and I think you'll be able to picture me breaking down in tears... realizing how silly I am to doubt a God that loves me more than anyone on this earth...

He Allows Me to Hunger
O God, You are my God, earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for You, my body longs for You, in a dry and  weary land where there is no water... my soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth with praise You. Psalm 63: 1,5


The son found himself in a barren place. 
His Father said, "In this place I will give you the peace you are longing for. Here I will give you spiritual food that will nourish you. You are always with Me - no matter what the circumstances- and all that I have is yours."
Then the Father, with great gentleness, drew the son to Himself. Quietly, He said, "I am the one who allowed you to come into these humbling circumstances and who allowed you to hunger. I did this so that I might feed you with manna - My bread from heaven!
"Only in this way could I help you to know that you cannot live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from My mouth."
The son said, "Give me this bread always!"
And when he grew thirsty he learned to cry, "the light of Your face is my life!"
Later still, the son wondered why one like himself, who was so richly fed and cared for at times, should at other times (plural) feel so poor and needy and thirsty. 
His Father replied by asking 4 questions:
"Can someone who has never thirsted know how precious is My living water?
"Can someone who has never discovered rives of these living waters flowing on barren heights - can he ever lead his thirsty friend to those rivers?
"Can someone who has never walked the deep valleys of the spirit help a friend who is fainting - or lead this friend to the well-springs that will save the life of his soul?
"Can someone who has never seen burning sands in the wilderness turn into a refreshing pool - can he speak in praise of My marvels, or My praise?


Wow... and then i broke into tears and thanked God for, again, answering my prayer as to WHY??
He has proven this over and over again... He is teaching me a lot of Himself through the trials I go through... and after the trial... in the healing process... i find myself thanking Him for whatever happened...

God - I pray for whoever is reading this... that they KNOW your living waters and finds comfort in your name. Thank you for being faithful to me... despite my moans and groans... despite me sinning over and over again.. you are faithfully loving me and gently teaching me to love you back... I know little of love... but i know you are love. Keep teaching me... I feel like you have made me more teachable through the India trip... keep teaching me.